This winter, an elder kept removing her sweater again and again.
The caregiver thought she was becoming restless.
In reality, the neckline felt tight she just couldn’t say it.
Working with elders living with dementia and cognitive decline has taught me something important: when words fade, the body starts speaking. Pulling at clothes, refusing layers, removing socks these are not always behaviours.
Sometimes, they are messages.
Recently, I came across a thoughtful note by social entrepreneur Kkanchan Gupta , who spoke about the importance of adaptive dressing for elders. It deeply resonated with what we see in daily practice clothing is not just fabric, it is comfort, dignity, and emotional safety.
In Indian homes, winter care often means more layers thermals, sweaters, shawls, socks. It comes from love. But many elders cannot express when clothing feels heavy, restrictive, or overwhelming.
Hospitals understand this well. After surgery, patients are given front-button shirts easy to wear, less stressful. Yet at home, we unknowingly return to complicated clothing that demands coordination and patience… things cognitive decline slowly takes away.
A soft kurta.
An easy-open shirt.
Light layers instead of heavy thermals.
Small changes but they can reduce agitation more than we realise.
Maybe the elder removing their sweater is not being difficult.
Maybe they are simply saying, in the only language left to them:
“Please make me comfortable.”
And perhaps true elder care begins when we stop dressing only to protect…and start dressing to truly listen.
